Today I may have met my dream girl and in typical James fashion, completely screwed up the opportunity.
A girl with a passion for all things random, yet with a shy demeanour and a quirky, happy persona. She was cute with plump cheeks, long brown hair and a radiant smile which lit up whenever I said a completely stupid joke. Ah, a girl who meets my (often inane) criteria is hard to find so yes, I was completely delighted.
Yes I was making progress. Being at a party of friends, it is easy to make the approach and strike up a conversation and not be considered a serial killer. But I panicked when I ran out of conversation, confidence or just brain power and excused myself (on multiple occasions). There was ample opportunity, there was clearly a modicum of interest. Incompetance allowed the best man to win. The best man being my friend who, being not particularly much brighter, but significantly more charming and confident, did all the things that are necessary to win the girl over (and oh boy did he win her). In one of my weakest moments yet, I even tried to undermine the poor fellow. Not that undermining him is considered stupid. It's quite reasonable to undermine if you're planning on winning her favour yourself. But when you're undermining simply out of "If I can't get her, no one can", is just plain petty and beneath me.
I won't put the girl on a pedestal and say she got someone better for her. At the end of the day, it is a sale. Its not the best offer that wins. As any marketer knows, its the best presented offer that wins. Having the goods doesn't help if you can't sell it yourself.
Now is not a time for self-pity. There were clear lessons to take away from that party. Whilst this particular girl is lost, I hold no illusions there will be others and it is imperative that the next one will not contain any of the mistakes of the current. There are simple, practice-able measures which I will need to review in the morning when I'm far less tired (being 4am in the morning now).
